HAPPY MOMMIE’S DAY! 2021!!!!

To All The Moms

Of The World

On Their Special Day!

From day one, as soon as

the kids are born.

You hear….WWWAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!

A few years later….

It becomes, I WANT THIS!

I WANT THAT!

NO!  THAT’S NOT FAIR!!!!

Then, the kids move out to go work after

college or high school even.

You are so proud!

But then, you adopt a dog.

A cute little one!

It gets worse!

The Dog is even

bossier and whinier!

You call the kids.

SON, DAUGHTER AND

CHILDREN IN LAWS!

COME HOME TO HELP ME TAKE

CARE OF MY DOG!

I WUV YYYOOOUUU!!!!

We kids all grown up say “Mom, I AM

WORKING A DOUBLE SHIFT!

 NEXT WEEKEND OKAY?!”

You put up with it because you love

us and are proud of us!

But this day is about you!

May 9th is Mommie’s Day 2021!

So enjoy your day!

….and HAPPY MOMMIE’S DAY!

WE…..LOVE……..YOU!!!!!!!

Written By: Ryan Hart Soliwoda

Completed On: May 3rd, 2021

This is Copyright: Ryan Hart Soliwoda 2021

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY MOMMA! 2021!!!!

Happy Birthday Momma!

2021!

So, from the day Momom gave me to

you after I was born.

You were happy to have a Son!

So giving and loving!

I went on to work, college and

Now, my art career!

Not all Moms would be so encouraging!

You work as soon as you

 get up in the morning.

Not just for your job.

But feeding our animals and dealing with

 the dramas the world gives us.

You always go to bed having earned it!

I am so proud of you!

So proud to be your Son!

May 8th is about

YOU, My Momma!

Have A Happy Birthday!!!!!

Your Loving Son,

Ryan Hart Soliwoda

Written By: Ryan Hart Soliwoda

Completed On: May 3rd, 2021

This Is Copyright: Ryan Hart Soliwoda 2021

Happy Birthday To My Little Sister! 2021 Edition!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY

SISTER ROCHELLE 2021!!!!

SO IT’S 2005.

I HAVE BEEN GRADUATED FROM HIGH

SCHOOL FOUR YEARS.

NOW, MY LITTLE SISTER IS

GRADUATING HIGH SCHOOL!

We had big journeys ahead of us.

Me with finding myself as an artist

after many crappie jobs.

You went through many retail jobs before

your conquest of the working world

as a bank manager.

A little girl came into our lives.

Kendra Rush, Your

Beautiful Daughter!

She has an unbreakable relationship

of friendship with her Bubi and Uncle Ryan!

But NOTHING can match her love

for her Mommy!

She stays home on Sunday just so she

can be with her Mommy and her Jay!

Jay is more than a good Hubby for you!

Kendra is crazy about him too!

You guys make her a better kiddo all the time.

She learns from you a lot!

While she does learn from

Bubi and Uncle Ryan!

HER MOMMY and HER JAY

Teach her the most!

How to be a better person!

You work hard at your job all the time!

Making a difference in

people’s financial futures.

Then coming home to two people, two

dogs and a cat who want their Rochelle!

You make a difference in this world every day!

Just 16 years later!

Look how far you came

 in such a short time!

Well, the 30th of this

month is special!

It is YOUR BIRTHDAY!!!!!

Happy Birthday Beloved Little Sister!

May this be the best

birthday ever for you!

The best is yet to come!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROCHELLE!

Your Loving Brother,

Ryan Hart Soliwoda

Written By: Ryan Hart Soliwoda

Completed On: April 25th, 2021

This Is Copyright: Ryan Hart Soliwoda 2021

New Police Force!

It is 2021….Crime is at an all time high!

Racial Riots!

Rape Crimes.

Drug sales are at an all time high!

As your Worldwide Government, The United Nations has decided to do something about it!

They have created US!

We are……..THE……..

INTERNAITONAL

COPS

PARTICIPATING

(IN )

OUR

ORGANIZED

PROTECTION!!!!!

WE ARE…. I – C – P – O – O – P !

So, to all you criminals and rapists and drug dealers!

Do you smell something other than weed?

Does the stench bother you?!

Well, it has gone international!

With…The.. I – C – P – O – O – P !

Hate is dead in this country!

We have international agents all over the schmorgazboard!

These Meaty, pumped up soldiers will arrest anyone causing terror!

So remember, criminals, that smell that bothers you after committing a crime.

It is the fact you are about to be arrested.

By The …………. I – C – P – O – O – P!!!!

That is all!

Carry On!

…and be safe!

Sincerely,

Sargeant B . O . Frackus!

Carry On Citizens!

This was Written By: Ryan Hart Soliwoda

Completed On, April 12th, 2021

This is Copyright: Ryan Hart Soliwoda 2021

To anyone who had a less than fun time in art school.

So, there you are. Your excited to be in an actual art school class.

Just two years ago, you, were scrubbing Walmart toilets.

So, you left their ungrateful asses for being abusive when

you work harder than everyone else.

So, you left and went to pursue your dream.

Critique time!

Everyone hangs their drawings up.

Then, the comments when YOUR PAINTING is shown.

The teenage students run their mouths!

“YOUR ART SUCKS! YOU SHOULD KILL YOURSELF!”

To the point where the teacher has to tell them to stop.

The other students are spoiled rich kids who never had a real job…..EVER!

Meanwhile, you are 30 and want to work hard for your dream of a new career.

If you feel this happened to you…..heed this advice!

  1. College caters to the wealthy. The little brats’ parents donate money to the school

So you would be disciplined if you commented back. Meanwhile, your

art will be known for your unique imagination.

The little brats who make fun of you are only in this class because

drawing is easy for them and they will learn nothing!

2. Believe it or not, Pablo Picasso was teased until he graduated

high school for his unique style.

….and he went on to create “CUBISM!”

Vincent Van Gogh was teased his WHOLE LIFE for his art style!.

To the point he died penniless and his brother sold his art and he

became famous even though he was dead.

Art isn’t about being popular in college.

Art is your medicine for self doubt and depression and sadness.

Art is beautiful!

So if you draw out of passion and want the world to see it and you post it online!

Congratulations!

YOU are an artist!

You don’t have to work for Disney or Marvel Comics to be a successful artist.

If you make art and have the guts to show people…..YOU HAVE A CAREER!!!!!

So never let anyone tell you that you are not good at something!

They are just jealous you had the guts to show someone your creations while they did not!

Cause outside of school and their fellow hipsters…..nobody gives a shit what those people have to say.

So celebrate your great art!

….and as always…..ROCK ON!

“Art is therapy for those broken by life!” – Vincent Van Gogh

This article is copyright: Ryan Hart Soliwoda 2021

This article was completed on: March 13th, 2021

To all the women in my life!

First was my Momom.

We share a special connection.

She saw me before anybody else saw me.

When I was given birth to!

Same time as the Doctor!

Momom handed me to my Mom who was in tears.

Momom was always good to me!

I love you Momom, I miss all the dinners and family time we spent with you and Popop.

On My Dad’s side, My Grandmom.

She made diner for me and my Sister and My Dad.

Every Sunday.

I used to love coming over to play all day there and help feed chipper the squirrel when he came around.

….and yes, I love Honey Comb Cereal because we had it for breakfast at Grandmom’s house every Sunday!

I miss You Both!

Next is my Mom, whether she is helping me with my mental disabilities and encouraging my art.

She encourages my weight lifting and Karate that I still do today!

I would not have completed college without my Mom!

Thanks Mom!

You helped me get there!

My sister’s Rochelle and Stephanie.

We always have a great time hanging out!

…and even though you are Moms now you are still as gorgeous and fun as ever!

LOVE YOU!!!!!!!

But who could forget, our animals.

Cats, Samantha and Penelope and Piper, My Daughter Cat.

My you rest in peace Piper the Ninja cat!

Who could forget Tiffany!

You were always happy to see me!

Always, RAYR! RRRAAYYYRRRR!!!!

Pet Me Brother!

You lived to be 20 people years old!

84 in cat years!

Amazing!

Of Course, The Beautiful Princess Herself……PRINCESS PHOEBE!!!!!!

You were a bottomless pit of love!

We couldn’t even go to the mailbox without you!

I still miss you helping Steve, your people Daddie take out the recycling.

Cutest thing ever!!!!!

You would be so excited!

Then, as soon as you got back, you leaped into Mommie’s lap and was like “MOMMIE, WE DID IT!

WE SAVED THE WORLD! WE TOOK OUT THE RECYCLING!!!!!”

Cutest Miniature Schnauzer Dog Ever!

Raised by Big Ben the Rotweller!

Your Doggy Daddy!

I miss you guys!

So to all the women of my life…..

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!!!!

I would not be here without all of you!!!!!!!

A – Men!

Written By: Ryan Hart Soliwoda

Copyright: Ryan Hart Soliwoda 2021

How falling in love with celebrities leads to disappointment and keeping up with entertainment news is virtually impossible!

So, I remember, in 2004, I was 21, working a shit job.

I start watching this show Veronica Mars.

I liked it a little.

I go and get a magazine with star Kristen Bell on the cover.

The interview strikes my fancy.

So I think I am in love.

Then, after her overexposure by E! News and Entertainment Tonight.

I am like, Go the fuck away!

I then realized I never really looked at her.

I liked the show and thought I liked her.

Total illusion.

She wasn’t even my type to be honest.

I was simply brainwashed by the media.

How the fuck did this happen?

Well, look at the facts, in 1995, it was very difficult to get famous.

However, if you did, fame and fortune followed!

Rock Bands were begging to get signed if they did not live in LA and did not play Rap Metal.

Celebrities would never dare bash one another.

Doing so would end your career.

Fast Forward to 2019,

Reality Television and online video services open up the flood gates of entertainment.

Fame becomes worth less and less.

and, in the music business, a record deal no longer meant millions of dollars.

Napster destroys CD Sales and youtube kills concert ticket sales outside of hardcore fans for years.

It was not until Facebook and Twitter that people began going back to

concerts because the rock stars would go online and talk to fans!

They make friends with celebrities and rock stars!

Something impossible in the 90s!

ROCK CONCERTS AND LIVE EVENTS ARE REBORN!!!!

So what happened was, magazines became less and less able to interview everyone!

There was simply too many stars!

I mean, common, 4,000 cable channels across over 50 services.

Some are even free if you get an amazon fire stick and internet connection.

So staying famous is even harder.

So what do you do to pay the bills and also get that movie part.

You trash other celebrities in interviews and say, He is racist, they’re fake,

he used to do porn, she used to be a hooker!

Just being an asshole to get that paid interview and score another movie part!

So falling in love with celebrities for some is impossible because

they are obnoxious, or….they are fucking everywhere!!!!!!!

So if you hate your job and dream of moving to Hollywood and becoming a screenwriter or director.

Marrying a celebrity becomes part of said dream.

‘Till that rock star marries a surgically enhanced stripper or that girl marries

the biggest deuschbag in Hollywood!

Your heart is now broken and reality sets in!

Plus, you read that magazine, and ten minutes later, that celebrity is obsolete.

Some idiot made a youtube video where he dances in his

underwear going “I am a rock star…DOOOO! DOOOOO! DOOO!!!”

So it goes viral cause he is completely out of shape and thinks he is a stripper.

Suddenly, Megan Fox and Ashton Kutcher and Gwen Stefani are irrevelant this week.

‘Till their next scandal.

Then, you look at the news and realize there is more celebrities and Hollywood

news than is virtually possible to keep up with!

I don’t know, I would rather work out and go for walks and read and work on my art career.

…and when I do read magazines it is usually a comic book or an animation magazine or music magazine.

I don’t try to keep up.

So when I do buy one….it is usually just one!

I don’t spend my whole bank account keeping up with Hollywood.

Now, I do feel for people who feel it is their life.

Celebrities are an infestation on tv and at the supermarket check out line.

Every magazine, every website.

You can’t even buy a fuckin’ gallon of milk without hearing what Blake Shelton said on tv last week.

Plus, for people like you and me, jobs don’t pay well.

You went to college for a graphic design or engineering degree and

nobody will hire you because you are not related to the city architect

or owner of that advertising firm.

So people deliver food and work construction and load trucks.

This wasn’t why we went to college….but we have student loans!

So we have to do it ’till they are paid off and we can go look for

work in our chosen filed when we quit our second job and have more

time because our debt is paid off.

You are so happy.

I only have to work 30 hours a week instead of 70.

You crack open a beer, turn on the tv. What is on?….YOUNG HOLLYWOOD ON EVERY CHANNEL!

“DAMN MILLENIALS” COMMERCIALS!

Where businessmen won’t hire anybody except their own spoiled brat kids who won’t do their jobs!

So they assume everybody else is exactly like them because most

corporate offices are in California and those dolts don’t know

what goes on outside of California.

So they assume everybody is a rich executive and nobody can possibly be poor.

Aggravating isn’t it?

There is a cure.

Stick to shows YOU LIKE!

Don’t watch anything you think you are SUPPOSED to watch.

Read only magazines YOU LIKE!

Don’t try to keep up with the entertainment news!

It’s impossible.

Just watch news you like!

….and remember, that male rocker or actress got married for publicity.

They will be divorced an one of the spouses in said marriage will be paying alimony forever!

Britanny Spears and Kevin Federline anyone?

Belive me, I used to get furious with these arrogant business people

and performers mocking anyone who isn’t them!

If it is any consolation!

They don’t look like that without the steroids or makeup or plastic surgery and heightening shoes!

It’s all fake folks!

When I go to the gym, I ingore the tv near the weight machines, barbells and etc.

I just concentrate on pumping weights.

I don’t even notice the magazines at the supermarket anymore.

Hang in there world!

Things will get better with the economy!

It has to or businesses will have no money to stay open.

So they will have to start paying more and treating people better or the executives will starve too!

….and celebrities….don’t believe a word of that magazine interview.

Most celebrities admit the editor of that book manipulated or

completely changed what they said in that interview!

Hollywood is a fake place!

Don’t fall in love with it!

Your heart will get broken!

I moved on from that trap!

You can do it too!

Go for it!

….and, as always….ROCK ON!!!!!!

Written By: Ryan Hart Soliwoda

This is Copyright: Ryan Hart Soliwoda 2021

Why some distractions can’t be ignored during the creative process!

You get in the zone.

Your Mom or spouse asks you to take out the garbage.

The bubble bursts and you remember that you exist in the real world.

Gotta take out the garbage folks!

OR for you parents out there.

You got that poem or lyric sheet almost done.

Your kid bonked his head at school and he is like 9 and a half.

So you get off the computer, put down the pen and hustle

over there to make sure they are okay.

Imagination is a gift.

But you cannot ignore real life!

Our loved ones need us just like like jobs folks!

Because fantasy is based on reality no matter how loosely.

God Bless it too!

ROCK ON!

Written By: Ryan Hart Soliwoda

Completed On: 01 / 23 / 2021

This is Copyright: Ryan Hart Soliwoda 2021

So what the fuck is this? Read to the end!!!

Don’t Kill Me,

Annihilate, Destroy, Massacre.

Two Gladiators enter the arena.

One must live, but not both of them.

See the violence, hear the screams of agony.

All to entertain an audience.

Cause out of these guys, someone ain’t coming’ home!

So, this is something I thought up years ago.

for those who don’t know, I pump weights and do karate

and have done so most of my life.

At the gym, I used to get offers to go to wrestling school and become

a wrestler by local promoters.

A friend of mine, that used to wrestle for a living

who will remain nameless out of respect for our community at the YMCA,

convinced me to take my ideas for wrestling and make stories out of them instead.

He knew I was in college for art.

Everybody at the Y knew.

So I had an idea.

THE XTREME WRESTLING ORGANIZATION.

A FULL PROFIT ORGANIZATION!

ALL PROFITS GO INTO PROMOTER ROY GOLDMAN’S GREEDY HANDS!

I want to do a comic book of it.

Working on that still.

What you read up top was sort of haiku and sort of poetry.

Sorry folks, I am a poet and artist and writer.

I don’t work for CZW or RING OF HONOR WRESTLING.

Don’t know if Wrestling school was for me but when a professional

tells you that you are too nice a kid for the business.

You listen!

I got told the same thing by artists at Comic Con.

You know, the comic book convention circuit

America and it’s Television are nuts over!

So this idea floated around in my head for years.

I am gonna do graphics for it in the near future.

This was something I did in my huge sketchbook of ideas.

Hope you enjoyed it!

and, as always, …..ROCK ON!!!!

This story is Copyright: Ryan Hart Soliwoda 2021

Xtreme Wreslting Organization / XWO and all like characters and

properties are Copyright and TRADEMARK: Ryan Hart Soliwoda 2021

RESTAURANTS TODAY LET ME TELL YA!!!!

So let me say something about restaurants.

These fancy ones, they’re like fuckin’ Doctor’s Offices!

You get there and place your order, three hours later you just finished your iced tea.

Cause wit me, I know this place ain’t cheap. So I milk the Hell out of the thing!

Thinking I’ll save it for when my dinner arrives.

The girl comes out and says “I’m sorry sir, we don’t have that kind of steak.”

I go “WHY THE FUCK COULD YOU NOT HAVE SAID THAT THREE HOURS AGO?!

FUCK YOU I’M LEAVING!”

THEN SHE YELLS “YOU OWE ME $ 14.95 FOR THE ICED TEA YOU ASSHOLE!”

Then, there is the fast food places.

I go to Chick Fil A, I hear somebody “LIBBIDY BUPITY BOO!”

I scream ENGLISH!!!!

The girl says over the drive through intercom “I’m sorry Mister,

that was Jimmy screaming cause burnt his finger in

the deep fryer. We did an internet challenge!”

I scream, call an ambulance!

She says they just did and ask me what I want.

My sanity, I wan’t my sanity back!

Internet Challenge, where do they find these people?

Then, I go to Popeyes, I get a chicken sandwich.

I see some nut eyeball me as I leave, he points a

gun at me, I say “what do you want money?”

He says he wants my sandwich.

As I go to my car glad I still have my wallet some guy

says “Thank God you did not get two chicken sandwiches! Some guy

got stabbed over that….by like five people!”

I’m like, ain’t one enough to take the Sandwhich?

He says “Well, the gang that took them thought he had

got fries with it.”

So the next day, I am at the farm market, My Mom wants to

make chicken and potato roast with veggies.

I see my friend TINA at the counter.

I say, “TINA what’s shakin?”

She says “Who the fuck are you?”

…and I have been a customer there several times a week for two years!

Next time, I’m gonna start cooking off food network!

At least Emril doesn’t take three hours!

Thanks, you guys are the best!

…and as always……

ROCK ON!

Written By: Ryan Hart Soliwoda

Completed On: 12 / 30 / 2020

This is Copyright: Ryan Hart Soliwoda 2020