Why Even Space Aliens Won’t Tolerate Racism!!!



Ryan Soliwoda

GEEZA: Damn Plutonians! They come here, take up all the good jobs, they go on fuckin’ welfare.

Geeza: …and they park their damn spaceship on my swimming pool!

GEEZA: Take your fishbowl heads back to Pluto!

The news is on national tv.

Mike Jackass: Welcome to Philadelphia tonight, this is Mike Jackass.

Mike Jackass: A racist old local man from the woods….known as “GEEZA”

made a racist comment on this program last night.

This comment had to do with Plutonian visitors who are apparently only here to visit.

Mike Jackass: Geeza was found in his backyard with several anal

probes in his rectal passageway. According to the Medical Team who found him.

One probe was reported to be the size of a basketball.

Mike Jackass: It was also reported that on his roof were the words “SCREW YOU, RACIST OLD DICK-HEAD!”

Painted in red spray paint!!!!

Which the visitors put on this roof before they flew away.

Mike Jackass: Mr. Geeza is in a slow recovery in the ER in ARIA HOSPITAL.

MIKE JACKASS: Preisdent Biden has stated that racism will not be tolerated in America….EVER!

I’m Mike Jackass…..good night!

Written By; Ryan Soliwoda

Completed On: July 21st. 2021

This is Copyright: Ryan Hart Soliwoda 2021

How I met a friend when I wasn’t looking! Read to see what I mean!

How I met a friend in the

least likely of places!


Ryan Hart Soliwoda

So there I am, on the youtube channel

for guitarist Mystic Guitar 77 on youtube!!

We talk from time to time about his

work and what inspires me as a

visual artist and him as a musical one

or what bands we are into.

Then, some guy named Dr. Talk Sick appears

and has brilliant answers to what

me and Mystic are wondering.

Mystic says he has to go to work and that

Marq is a cool guy and I should hang

out with him on youtube.

So, I think, Oh, Marq is Dr. Talk Sick.

So I am like, oh, Hi Marq, I am Ryan Cinch,

nice to meet you, Cinch is actually

my nickname.

My Real last name is Polish but that is

a story for another day.

( I have since told him more about that. )

So we hit it off talking about music.

He then asks if I wanna see his

music videos.

The first one is “HOW CAN I?”

Then another called “STAY ASTRAY.”

Just him and a guitar and camera singing.

It is awesome!

So I tell him this.

“He is like, yeah I thinking of quitting. Music

has not been good to me, The business

is not so happy anymore.”

I freak out and go…

“What are you nuts?!

You can’t stop now!

This is just you and a guitar and a

camera and you sound that good?!

Are you in a band? Were you

ever in a band?! Do you have

videos for that! I WANNA SEE ‘EM!”

So he sends me those.

Two weeks later I see more

videos for Dr. Talk Sick.

I tell him I love the new stuff.

He says “Yeah, I make music again!….and

it’s all your fault cause you reminded

me of why I do this!”

So I send him my writing and art.

Art college was hard.

Mostly spoiled rich kids in college for social

status but with natural talent.

The teacher telling them to stop

mocking my drawings just cause I am

the one with a fucking imagination!

Plus, I’m like 30 almost by this point

and unloading trucks for the campus

bookstore for shit pay and a dickhead boss!

How does a college job get to be so

abusive when I am the hardest worker there?


So Marq gets back to me a week or two later.

He says “Ryan, never stop doing your art!

You have a halluva talent my brutha!”

Next thing you know I start drawing

lots more…to this day!

Marq reminded me why I quit selling boat

parts to do art!

Thanks Buddy!

Oh, and did I mention the minute I

saw he friend requested me on Facebook,

I immediately apologized for

not noticing it sooner.

He is like “Don’t worry about it.

Fedbook is like that sometimes. They

don’t e-mail  to let you know or let

you post most of your creative

stuff half the time!”

So then, a month later,

Marq posts that he formed a new band!

They are known as “WITHIN THE WEAK.”

I think it means within the weak, we feel weak.

Especially by Friday when we are dead tired.

I might be wrong about that OR it may not

be the only meaning.

I asked what it meant only once

a LOOOOONNGG time ago!!


Anyway, I repost the post as the

song he showed was awesome!

Marq reposts it and then introduces me

to band co-founder Jeremy Eunson.

Also, a cool dude!

So, I made two friends on youtube

and Facebook!

Real World friends….not just online!

Marq even sent me a hoodie in my size

 to thank me for my constant encouragement

in him and not just his music.

So, I decided to write him this poem!

People love my poetry!

Sometimes they want art but recently,

the poetry took off!

So, I spent the last two plus hours on this!

Marq buddy, when you come to Philly

with one of your musical

projects….you are getting a hug

and a fist pound homie!

90s Style Nu Metal is not dead folks!

These guys made sure of that!


Marq, you have a friend In me for

eternity and beyond!

Which means our friendship

will never end!



Written By: Ryan Hart Soliwoda

Completed On: 07 / 10 /2021

Copyright: Ryan Hart Soliwoda 2021

All creative rights to within in the weak belong to the band of the same name!


For My Sister!

Happy Birthday To Stephanie!

My Beautiful Sister!


Ryan Hart Soliwoda

So it is 1991,

My parents split up!

Not a happy time as I did not know of it

till I woke up one day and was told we were

moving and found out the rest later.

My Mom loved my Dad so much.

Sometimes things change.

But she still thinks the world of him.

Things just changed was all.

I should also mention before

I go on what  a

nice friendship you had with my Dad.

He was awesome wasn’t he?

But, back in ’91,

My Mom finds a new guy.

Your Dad!

A little tough for a while but things

got better and progressed.

Always one constant in this new family

set up besides my Mom, Bonnie and Sister Rochelle.

That was you!

I had a little crush on you when we first met and

you always reminded me what a handsome guy I am.

To this day, whenever I mention I

wanna meet my soul-mate.

You always say,

“Sweetie, you don’t need a girlfriend,

you can just marry me!”

Always reminding me you love me by doing that!

We even like some of the same tv shows.

The Girls Next Store.

All the WWE Divas Shows.

Then, you find your mate.

Mr. Howard Cusick.

A cool dude!

How can anybody not like Howard?

He is awesome!

Things get real good from there.

We get closer as adults.

You always show me the same

love and compassion.

…and for just a second,

I do like your friend Mindy.

She is also gorgeous!

When you tried to set us up in the 90s I

was too young and too shy!

Mindy is cool, I miss her!

Anyways, things came about to

another wonderful surprise.

Rochelle becomes pregnant with Kendra in 2006,

An hour later, we learn you are too!

Kendra and Rae Lynn are born!

First thing I do?

On my break from the West

Marine Boat Store

where I was working

I go to Aldo’s Pizza in the shopping

center for lunch.

Aldo, and his staff were like a family to me!

We go waaay back!

So, I show them the girl’s baby photos.

Little do I know, Diane, who

worked there at the time

was the sister of Uncle Joe Steigerwald.

She was the first person to see the photos!

Besides my Dad!

What are the odds?!

I had no idea when I showed her the

photos that we were related.

Crazy right?

Then, in 2013, Ryan John,

my Nephew who

is named after me was born.

At this point, My Father, John, had passed away.

So, I am living at Mom’s house at this point.

Three great kids!

Kendra, being our sister Rochelle’s Daughter.

Ryan and Rae Lynn being your kids.

For those reading this poem a

and may be confused.

I knew from my friends at the

gym who have kids how much

women appreciate it when

 family watches

the kids to let you gals take

a well deserved nap once in a while!

So what do I do?

Spoil all three of them!

As long as Mommy and Daddie and Bube

and Papu say it is okay, I do it!


SUSHI CAT on the internet.

You name it, we did it!

You and Mom and Rochelle remind me of

what a great Son, Brother and Uncle I am.

But July 6th is about YOU!

Happy Birthday Stephanie

Costa Cusick!

I Love You!


Your Loving Brother,

Ryan Hart Soliwoda

Written By: Ryan Hart Soliwoda

Completed On: July 4th, 2021

This is Copyright: Ryan Hart Soliwoda 2021

Never call an artist fake!

Always remember, Music, Visual Art…Writing, Acting, the list goes on…..This is your

medicine, your therapy and expression! It’s all art! Getting good comes from

loving to do it and then you wanna practice more. For some, it is badass and

victorious. Others, can draw cartoons and it’s like crying tears of sadness or

tears of joy! Self expression is beautiful! Never say a guy is only a singer

because he is jacked or a girl is only a singer because she is pretty. It’s art and it

is a tough business! All art is hard! This is what we do! Always show love, because

damnit! We give it and should get it back sometimes! Life is a two way street! Always.

Art is love!


Love is the greatest thing ever created. “Never give up…never

surrender!” – Buzz Lightyear.

Written By: Ryan Hart Soliwoda

Completed On: June 20th, 2021

This is Copyright: Ryan Hart Soliwoda 2021


To All The Moms

Of The World

On Their Special Day!

From day one, as soon as

the kids are born.


A few years later….

It becomes, I WANT THIS!



Then, the kids move out to go work after

college or high school even.

You are so proud!

But then, you adopt a dog.

A cute little one!

It gets worse!

The Dog is even

bossier and whinier!

You call the kids.






We kids all grown up say “Mom, I AM



You put up with it because you love

us and are proud of us!

But this day is about you!

May 9th is Mommie’s Day 2021!

So enjoy your day!



Written By: Ryan Hart Soliwoda

Completed On: May 3rd, 2021

This is Copyright: Ryan Hart Soliwoda 2021


Happy Birthday Momma!


So, from the day Momom gave me to

you after I was born.

You were happy to have a Son!

So giving and loving!

I went on to work, college and

Now, my art career!

Not all Moms would be so encouraging!

You work as soon as you

 get up in the morning.

Not just for your job.

But feeding our animals and dealing with

 the dramas the world gives us.

You always go to bed having earned it!

I am so proud of you!

So proud to be your Son!

May 8th is about

YOU, My Momma!

Have A Happy Birthday!!!!!

Your Loving Son,

Ryan Hart Soliwoda

Written By: Ryan Hart Soliwoda

Completed On: May 3rd, 2021

This Is Copyright: Ryan Hart Soliwoda 2021

Happy Birthday To My Little Sister! 2021 Edition!



SO IT’S 2005.





We had big journeys ahead of us.

Me with finding myself as an artist

after many crappie jobs.

You went through many retail jobs before

your conquest of the working world

as a bank manager.

A little girl came into our lives.

Kendra Rush, Your

Beautiful Daughter!

She has an unbreakable relationship

of friendship with her Bubi and Uncle Ryan!

But NOTHING can match her love

for her Mommy!

She stays home on Sunday just so she

can be with her Mommy and her Jay!

Jay is more than a good Hubby for you!

Kendra is crazy about him too!

You guys make her a better kiddo all the time.

She learns from you a lot!

While she does learn from

Bubi and Uncle Ryan!


Teach her the most!

How to be a better person!

You work hard at your job all the time!

Making a difference in

people’s financial futures.

Then coming home to two people, two

dogs and a cat who want their Rochelle!

You make a difference in this world every day!

Just 16 years later!

Look how far you came

 in such a short time!

Well, the 30th of this

month is special!


Happy Birthday Beloved Little Sister!

May this be the best

birthday ever for you!

The best is yet to come!


Your Loving Brother,

Ryan Hart Soliwoda

Written By: Ryan Hart Soliwoda

Completed On: April 25th, 2021

This Is Copyright: Ryan Hart Soliwoda 2021

New Police Force!

It is 2021….Crime is at an all time high!

Racial Riots!

Rape Crimes.

Drug sales are at an all time high!

As your Worldwide Government, The United Nations has decided to do something about it!

They have created US!

We are……..THE……..




(IN )




WE ARE…. I – C – P – O – O – P !

So, to all you criminals and rapists and drug dealers!

Do you smell something other than weed?

Does the stench bother you?!

Well, it has gone international!

With…The.. I – C – P – O – O – P !

Hate is dead in this country!

We have international agents all over the schmorgazboard!

These Meaty, pumped up soldiers will arrest anyone causing terror!

So remember, criminals, that smell that bothers you after committing a crime.

It is the fact you are about to be arrested.

By The …………. I – C – P – O – O – P!!!!

That is all!

Carry On!

…and be safe!


Sargeant B . O . Frackus!

Carry On Citizens!

This was Written By: Ryan Hart Soliwoda

Completed On, April 12th, 2021

This is Copyright: Ryan Hart Soliwoda 2021

To anyone who had a less than fun time in art school.

So, there you are. Your excited to be in an actual art school class.

Just two years ago, you, were scrubbing Walmart toilets.

So, you left their ungrateful asses for being abusive when

you work harder than everyone else.

So, you left and went to pursue your dream.

Critique time!

Everyone hangs their drawings up.

Then, the comments when YOUR PAINTING is shown.

The teenage students run their mouths!


To the point where the teacher has to tell them to stop.

The other students are spoiled rich kids who never had a real job…..EVER!

Meanwhile, you are 30 and want to work hard for your dream of a new career.

If you feel this happened to you…..heed this advice!

  1. College caters to the wealthy. The little brats’ parents donate money to the school

So you would be disciplined if you commented back. Meanwhile, your

art will be known for your unique imagination.

The little brats who make fun of you are only in this class because

drawing is easy for them and they will learn nothing!

2. Believe it or not, Pablo Picasso was teased until he graduated

high school for his unique style.

….and he went on to create “CUBISM!”

Vincent Van Gogh was teased his WHOLE LIFE for his art style!.

To the point he died penniless and his brother sold his art and he

became famous even though he was dead.

Art isn’t about being popular in college.

Art is your medicine for self doubt and depression and sadness.

Art is beautiful!

So if you draw out of passion and want the world to see it and you post it online!


YOU are an artist!

You don’t have to work for Disney or Marvel Comics to be a successful artist.

If you make art and have the guts to show people…..YOU HAVE A CAREER!!!!!

So never let anyone tell you that you are not good at something!

They are just jealous you had the guts to show someone your creations while they did not!

Cause outside of school and their fellow hipsters…..nobody gives a shit what those people have to say.

So celebrate your great art!

….and as always…..ROCK ON!

“Art is therapy for those broken by life!” – Vincent Van Gogh

This article is copyright: Ryan Hart Soliwoda 2021

This article was completed on: March 13th, 2021

To all the women in my life!

First was my Momom.

We share a special connection.

She saw me before anybody else saw me.

When I was given birth to!

Same time as the Doctor!

Momom handed me to my Mom who was in tears.

Momom was always good to me!

I love you Momom, I miss all the dinners and family time we spent with you and Popop.

On My Dad’s side, My Grandmom.

She made diner for me and my Sister and My Dad.

Every Sunday.

I used to love coming over to play all day there and help feed chipper the squirrel when he came around.

….and yes, I love Honey Comb Cereal because we had it for breakfast at Grandmom’s house every Sunday!

I miss You Both!

Next is my Mom, whether she is helping me with my mental disabilities and encouraging my art.

She encourages my weight lifting and Karate that I still do today!

I would not have completed college without my Mom!

Thanks Mom!

You helped me get there!

My sister’s Rochelle and Stephanie.

We always have a great time hanging out!

…and even though you are Moms now you are still as gorgeous and fun as ever!

LOVE YOU!!!!!!!

But who could forget, our animals.

Cats, Samantha and Penelope and Piper, My Daughter Cat.

My you rest in peace Piper the Ninja cat!

Who could forget Tiffany!

You were always happy to see me!


Pet Me Brother!

You lived to be 20 people years old!

84 in cat years!


Of Course, The Beautiful Princess Herself……PRINCESS PHOEBE!!!!!!

You were a bottomless pit of love!

We couldn’t even go to the mailbox without you!

I still miss you helping Steve, your people Daddie take out the recycling.

Cutest thing ever!!!!!

You would be so excited!

Then, as soon as you got back, you leaped into Mommie’s lap and was like “MOMMIE, WE DID IT!


Cutest Miniature Schnauzer Dog Ever!

Raised by Big Ben the Rotweller!

Your Doggy Daddy!

I miss you guys!

So to all the women of my life…..


I would not be here without all of you!!!!!!!

A – Men!

Written By: Ryan Hart Soliwoda

Copyright: Ryan Hart Soliwoda 2021