VOTE FOR ME!!!!!!!

MY PLEDGE TO YOU AS PRESIDENT!

WRITTEN BY:

RYAN HART SOLIWODA

I wanna be your President!

First off.

People are quitting their jobs because

of the abuse from employers is unspeakable.

People are getting stomach ulcers, beaten

shot…all for $7.50 an hour!

How do we stop it?

I will re-instate the labor unions!

Full power to the labor bureau!

Nobody picks on our workers!

Furthermore….

Co Pay for seniors and disabled Americans

on Medicare is a disgrace!

The whole point of being retired is

so you don’t have to have co pay!

On another note,

Too many criminals in prisons.

What do we do!

Put them to work!

The Army Core of Engineers have invented

a time machine!

The prisoners will be forced to build it and we can

use it to bring back the Dinosaurs.

The Dinos can fight in wars wearing bulletproof armor.

Who needs nukes with Brontosauruses and Raptors?

Fred Flintstone did alright!

Also,

TV shows bullying millenials!

California needs to learn that the rest of

the young world works for a living!

Los Angels is less than one percent

of young America!

I will fine advertisers and TV station half

a million dollars every time a commercial

or TV show says all young people are lazy!

Cause it ain’t true!

The Dinosaurs can rampage through Los Angeles!

That will teach those corporate bastards

for abusing our children and seniors!

Full rights to the workers!

Bring back worker’s benefits!

….or I’ll send a brontosaurs heard after

you corporate fat cats!

Lets make college degrees valuable again!

Lower the cost of student loans!

If you get a college education, you should get

a fair shot at a good job.

You should be hired based on your education

and experience and a good, positive can do attitude!

Not who the owner’s son is!

…and damnit….end degree inflation!

Not every job needs a degree!

Who needs a degree to run McDonalds?!

In the 80s, if you went on the apprenticeship

program…..you ended up owning your

own McDonalds and became an executive

for the corporate branch…..with a high school degree!

So, vote for Ryan Cinch as your next

write in vote President!

Let The United States Be Reborn!

Lets Make America Rich Again!

Note: The Author of this article has not

registered to run for President.

Write In Votes are a must!

The following, while some of it based

on facts….is a work a of humor!

However, if you want to vote for the author

for President…he is game!!!

Written By: Ryan Hart Soliwoda

Completed On: 10 / 13 / 2021

This Is Copyright: Ryan Hart Soliwoda 2021

Why people are embarassed to buy one thing….then proud of something more embarassing!

It is like when people go to buy condoms men act like they are smuggling The Constitution into Cuba.

When really, you should be like ” ( Holds up trojan box! ) Uh, Huh! Huh! Huh! Huh! Huh! Check it out mr cashier…..I’m gonna score!”

But then, men go to buy viagra and not one person is afraid a Female cashier will say “What’s the matter, you fallen and can’t get it up?”

Then, on a couple’s wedding anniversary, they go into Victoria’s Secret and buy their wife a corset and not one guy is afraid of the woman kicking him in the nuts for it!

Why would you buy your wife underwear for your anniversary?

Are you looking to get divorced?

Then, five male dumbasses

walk into victoria’s secret so one guy can show his buddies

he is dating a cashier from the franchise of women’s underwear!

Just because she sells underwear does not make her a porn star you dorks!

I remember I was Philly Mills Mall and five idiots did this.

They came out and two girls went…”What’s a matter fellas? You need push up bras? Maybe a G String?

They walked away laughing.

So how the fuck is buying condomns more embarassing than this other bullshit?

America, I don’t get it?!

LMFAO!!!

Written By: Ryan Hart Soliwoda

Completed On: 10 / 08 / 2021

Copyright: Ran Hart Soliwoda 2021

Does you boss seem like an idiot? Well, they are! Here is why!…..

Never assume that a company is doing things for the good of anyone.

So when employees say, ” Yeah, that makes sense….NOT! “

What you don’t understand is that the executives are too

busy stealing money from the company to

care about what is good for anyone.

They hire incompetent boobs who cannot handle pressure to

be your manager or supervisor because they are not a threat to the

nitwit executives above them.

This is why your boss is hiding in their office when a customer or client is upset!

Then yelling at you for doing their job for them!

An idiot will never get promoted to CEO!

That is why they are chosen as low level bosses.

That is all.

Carry On!

Written By: Ryan Hart Soliwoda

Completed On: 09 / 24 / 2021

This is Copyright: Ryan Hart Soliwoda 2021

A New Reason Why Paying Bills Sucks!

This ever happen to you?

Caller: ( CALLS COMPANY )

Yes, I would like to pay my bill.

Company: We can’t, our computers are down.

Try Tomorrow.

( The Next Day. )

Caller: Yes, I would like to pay my electricity bill please.

Company: Sorry, we have no data in

our computer, call in an hour after Tech Support Leaves.

( Man’s Power Goes out an hour later.. )

Caller: You turned off my power! Thank

God My Cell Phone Battery Has Juice.

Company: You did not pay the bill!

Caller: You wouldn’t let me!

Company: We can do this now. We need full

verification from you bank!

Caller: Do you want the money or not?!

Company: Please state your credit card information.

( 20 Minutes Later! )

Company: We have processed your payment,

your electricity will be back on within the hour.

Thank you for staying a customer of….

Caller: FUCK YOU!!!!!

45 minutes later, The

light comes off….after being on for one minute!

Man phones company.

Caller: Do I have to call my fucking lawyer?!

Power if back on like normal.

Caller: That is what I thought!

Caller: ( Calls Police Station. )

Yes, I would like to report a crime.

Police: About?

Caller: FRAUD TOWARD A CUSTOMER!

Police: Call the Better Business Beaurau.

Caller: ( Calls BBB! )

Caller: Yes, I would like to report a crime.

BBB: About?

Caller: The damn electricity company turned off

my power before I paid them and an hour

after I did and I paid two days early.

BBB: We will investigate.

Thank you for the tip!

CALLER: Ah, Sweet Revenge!

So folks, this is proof that spending

money is NOT the ONLY thing that

sucks about paying bills!

It’s getting the imbeciles to accept your bill payment.

LMFAO!!!!

Written By: Ryan Hart Soliwoda

Completed On: August 1st, 2021

This is Copyright: Ryan Hart Soliwoda 2021

Why Even Space Aliens Won’t Tolerate Racism!!!

SPACE ALIENS WON’T PUT UP WITH RACISM EITHER!

Author:

Ryan Soliwoda

GEEZA: Damn Plutonians! They come here, take up all the good jobs, they go on fuckin’ welfare.

Geeza: …and they park their damn spaceship on my swimming pool!

GEEZA: Take your fishbowl heads back to Pluto!

The news is on national tv.

Mike Jackass: Welcome to Philadelphia tonight, this is Mike Jackass.

Mike Jackass: A racist old local man from the woods….known as “GEEZA”

made a racist comment on this program last night.

This comment had to do with Plutonian visitors who are apparently only here to visit.

Mike Jackass: Geeza was found in his backyard with several anal

probes in his rectal passageway. According to the Medical Team who found him.

One probe was reported to be the size of a basketball.

Mike Jackass: It was also reported that on his roof were the words “SCREW YOU, RACIST OLD DICK-HEAD!”

Painted in red spray paint!!!!

Which the visitors put on this roof before they flew away.

Mike Jackass: Mr. Geeza is in a slow recovery in the ER in ARIA HOSPITAL.

MIKE JACKASS: Preisdent Biden has stated that racism will not be tolerated in America….EVER!

I’m Mike Jackass…..good night!

Written By; Ryan Soliwoda

Completed On: July 21st. 2021

This is Copyright: Ryan Hart Soliwoda 2021

How I met a friend when I wasn’t looking! Read to see what I mean!

How I met a friend in the

least likely of places!

Author:

Ryan Hart Soliwoda

So there I am, on the youtube channel

for guitarist Mystic Guitar 77 on youtube!!

We talk from time to time about his

work and what inspires me as a

visual artist and him as a musical one

or what bands we are into.

Then, some guy named Dr. Talk Sick appears

and has brilliant answers to what

me and Mystic are wondering.

Mystic says he has to go to work and that

Marq is a cool guy and I should hang

out with him on youtube.

So, I think, Oh, Marq is Dr. Talk Sick.

So I am like, oh, Hi Marq, I am Ryan Cinch,

nice to meet you, Cinch is actually

my nickname.

My Real last name is Polish but that is

a story for another day.

( I have since told him more about that. )

So we hit it off talking about music.

He then asks if I wanna see his

music videos.

The first one is “HOW CAN I?”

Then another called “STAY ASTRAY.”

Just him and a guitar and camera singing.

It is awesome!

So I tell him this.

“He is like, yeah I thinking of quitting. Music

has not been good to me, The business

is not so happy anymore.”

I freak out and go…

“What are you nuts?!

You can’t stop now!

This is just you and a guitar and a

camera and you sound that good?!

Are you in a band? Were you

ever in a band?! Do you have

videos for that! I WANNA SEE ‘EM!”

So he sends me those.

Two weeks later I see more

videos for Dr. Talk Sick.

I tell him I love the new stuff.

He says “Yeah, I make music again!….and

it’s all your fault cause you reminded

me of why I do this!”

So I send him my writing and art.

Art college was hard.

Mostly spoiled rich kids in college for social

status but with natural talent.

The teacher telling them to stop

mocking my drawings just cause I am

the one with a fucking imagination!

Plus, I’m like 30 almost by this point

and unloading trucks for the campus

bookstore for shit pay and a dickhead boss!

How does a college job get to be so

abusive when I am the hardest worker there?

WTF?!

So Marq gets back to me a week or two later.

He says “Ryan, never stop doing your art!

You have a halluva talent my brutha!”

Next thing you know I start drawing

lots more…to this day!

Marq reminded me why I quit selling boat

parts to do art!

Thanks Buddy!

Oh, and did I mention the minute I

saw he friend requested me on Facebook,

I immediately apologized for

not noticing it sooner.

He is like “Don’t worry about it.

Fedbook is like that sometimes. They

don’t e-mail  to let you know or let

you post most of your creative

stuff half the time!”

So then, a month later,

Marq posts that he formed a new band!

They are known as “WITHIN THE WEAK.”

I think it means within the weak, we feel weak.

Especially by Friday when we are dead tired.

I might be wrong about that OR it may not

be the only meaning.

I asked what it meant only once

a LOOOOONNGG time ago!!

OOOPS!

Anyway, I repost the post as the

song he showed was awesome!

Marq reposts it and then introduces me

to band co-founder Jeremy Eunson.

Also, a cool dude!

So, I made two friends on youtube

and Facebook!

Real World friends….not just online!

Marq even sent me a hoodie in my size

 to thank me for my constant encouragement

in him and not just his music.

So, I decided to write him this poem!

People love my poetry!

Sometimes they want art but recently,

the poetry took off!

So, I spent the last two plus hours on this!

Marq buddy, when you come to Philly

with one of your musical

projects….you are getting a hug

and a fist pound homie!

90s Style Nu Metal is not dead folks!

These guys made sure of that!

Google WITHIN THE WEAK!

Marq, you have a friend In me for

eternity and beyond!

Which means our friendship

will never end!

ROCK ON DOC!!!!!

ROCK ON FOREVER!!!

Written By: Ryan Hart Soliwoda

Completed On: 07 / 10 /2021

Copyright: Ryan Hart Soliwoda 2021

All creative rights to within in the weak belong to the band of the same name!

ROCK ON!!!!

For My Sister!

Happy Birthday To Stephanie!

My Beautiful Sister!

Author:

Ryan Hart Soliwoda

So it is 1991,

My parents split up!

Not a happy time as I did not know of it

till I woke up one day and was told we were

moving and found out the rest later.

My Mom loved my Dad so much.

Sometimes things change.

But she still thinks the world of him.

Things just changed was all.

I should also mention before

I go on what  a

nice friendship you had with my Dad.

He was awesome wasn’t he?

But, back in ’91,

My Mom finds a new guy.

Your Dad!

A little tough for a while but things

got better and progressed.

Always one constant in this new family

set up besides my Mom, Bonnie and Sister Rochelle.

That was you!

I had a little crush on you when we first met and

you always reminded me what a handsome guy I am.

To this day, whenever I mention I

wanna meet my soul-mate.

You always say,

“Sweetie, you don’t need a girlfriend,

you can just marry me!”

Always reminding me you love me by doing that!

We even like some of the same tv shows.

The Girls Next Store.

All the WWE Divas Shows.

Then, you find your mate.

Mr. Howard Cusick.

A cool dude!

How can anybody not like Howard?

He is awesome!

Things get real good from there.

We get closer as adults.

You always show me the same

love and compassion.

…and for just a second,

I do like your friend Mindy.

She is also gorgeous!

When you tried to set us up in the 90s I

was too young and too shy!

Mindy is cool, I miss her!

Anyways, things came about to

another wonderful surprise.

Rochelle becomes pregnant with Kendra in 2006,

An hour later, we learn you are too!

Kendra and Rae Lynn are born!

First thing I do?

On my break from the West

Marine Boat Store

where I was working

I go to Aldo’s Pizza in the shopping

center for lunch.

Aldo, and his staff were like a family to me!

We go waaay back!

So, I show them the girl’s baby photos.

Little do I know, Diane, who

worked there at the time

was the sister of Uncle Joe Steigerwald.

She was the first person to see the photos!

Besides my Dad!

What are the odds?!

I had no idea when I showed her the

photos that we were related.

Crazy right?

Then, in 2013, Ryan John,

my Nephew who

is named after me was born.

At this point, My Father, John, had passed away.

So, I am living at Mom’s house at this point.

Three great kids!

Kendra, being our sister Rochelle’s Daughter.

Ryan and Rae Lynn being your kids.

For those reading this poem a

and may be confused.

I knew from my friends at the

gym who have kids how much

women appreciate it when

 family watches

the kids to let you gals take

a well deserved nap once in a while!

So what do I do?

Spoil all three of them!

As long as Mommy and Daddie and Bube

and Papu say it is okay, I do it!

DUCK! DUCK GOOSE!

SUSHI CAT on the internet.

You name it, we did it!

You and Mom and Rochelle remind me of

what a great Son, Brother and Uncle I am.

But July 6th is about YOU!

Happy Birthday Stephanie

Costa Cusick!

I Love You!

Sincerely,

Your Loving Brother,

Ryan Hart Soliwoda

Written By: Ryan Hart Soliwoda

Completed On: July 4th, 2021

This is Copyright: Ryan Hart Soliwoda 2021

Never call an artist fake!

Always remember, Music, Visual Art…Writing, Acting, the list goes on…..This is your

medicine, your therapy and expression! It’s all art! Getting good comes from

loving to do it and then you wanna practice more. For some, it is badass and

victorious. Others, can draw cartoons and it’s like crying tears of sadness or

tears of joy! Self expression is beautiful! Never say a guy is only a singer

because he is jacked or a girl is only a singer because she is pretty. It’s art and it

is a tough business! All art is hard! This is what we do! Always show love, because

damnit! We give it and should get it back sometimes! Life is a two way street! Always.

Art is love!

…and….

Love is the greatest thing ever created. “Never give up…never

surrender!” – Buzz Lightyear.

Written By: Ryan Hart Soliwoda

Completed On: June 20th, 2021

This is Copyright: Ryan Hart Soliwoda 2021

HAPPY MOMMIE’S DAY! 2021!!!!

To All The Moms

Of The World

On Their Special Day!

From day one, as soon as

the kids are born.

You hear….WWWAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!

A few years later….

It becomes, I WANT THIS!

I WANT THAT!

NO!  THAT’S NOT FAIR!!!!

Then, the kids move out to go work after

college or high school even.

You are so proud!

But then, you adopt a dog.

A cute little one!

It gets worse!

The Dog is even

bossier and whinier!

You call the kids.

SON, DAUGHTER AND

CHILDREN IN LAWS!

COME HOME TO HELP ME TAKE

CARE OF MY DOG!

I WUV YYYOOOUUU!!!!

We kids all grown up say “Mom, I AM

WORKING A DOUBLE SHIFT!

 NEXT WEEKEND OKAY?!”

You put up with it because you love

us and are proud of us!

But this day is about you!

May 9th is Mommie’s Day 2021!

So enjoy your day!

….and HAPPY MOMMIE’S DAY!

WE…..LOVE……..YOU!!!!!!!

Written By: Ryan Hart Soliwoda

Completed On: May 3rd, 2021

This is Copyright: Ryan Hart Soliwoda 2021

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY MOMMA! 2021!!!!

Happy Birthday Momma!

2021!

So, from the day Momom gave me to

you after I was born.

You were happy to have a Son!

So giving and loving!

I went on to work, college and

Now, my art career!

Not all Moms would be so encouraging!

You work as soon as you

 get up in the morning.

Not just for your job.

But feeding our animals and dealing with

 the dramas the world gives us.

You always go to bed having earned it!

I am so proud of you!

So proud to be your Son!

May 8th is about

YOU, My Momma!

Have A Happy Birthday!!!!!

Your Loving Son,

Ryan Hart Soliwoda

Written By: Ryan Hart Soliwoda

Completed On: May 3rd, 2021

This Is Copyright: Ryan Hart Soliwoda 2021