Fantastic Four and why they NEVER deserved the bad rap they got!

So in 2004 and 2005, THE FANTASTIC FOUR get two AWESOME MOVIES!!!!

The critics call it pretentious and obvious of the ending.

The fans go online and repeat it like parrots!

IT’S FUCKING SUPERHEROES!!!!!

They save the world and have a nice happy ending they earned!

WHAT THE FUCK?!

It’s a feel good popcorn movie about what made America

great before our last three leaders fucked it up!

The Avengers have a bad ending every time after the first one.

They save the world and still get thrown in jail.

The general public loves that socialist bullshit!

The AVENGERS deserve a prize handed to them by

The President of the United States!

Just like in the comics!

They were awesome!

Stan Lee and Jack Kirby were a great team!

The Critics hated that too.

The fans bash the video game online!

Let me tell you motherfuckers something.

There were three Fantastic Four Playstation videogames.

NONE OF THEM WERE BAD!!!

Just because it wasn’t overly hard or had a story as scary as RESIDENT EVIL?!

Are you shitting me?!

I grew up on Fantastic Four.

Stop looking for Shakespear to write superheroes!

If you don’t like comic books…..don’t read them!

If you don’t like the movies, go see something else at AMC THEATERS!

For fuck’s sake, Even My Mom thinks Fantastic Four is cool!

…and she read comic books back before I was born.

Before there was even Pong Games.

So to the Fantastic Four and their creators…I SALUTE YOU!

TO THE HATERS!

GO FUCK YOURSELVES!

YOU DON’T KNOW COMICS!!!!

You don’t even read them yet you go on fuckin’ youtube and declare yourself

experts cause your Dad had some in his garage and gave them to you!

POSERS!

FANTASTIC FOUR RULES!

NOW YOU LOOK AT THIS AWESOME FOOTAGE OF THE PS2 Game and you tell me it is bad!

….and I will show you a liar!!!!

Check it out!!!!

Fantastic Four is Copyright: Stan Lee, Jack Kirby and Marvel Comics!

This article was Written By: Ryan Hart Soliwoda

This Writing Is Copyright: Ryan Hart Soliwoda 2022

This is my First Writing of 2022!!!!!

YAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!!!

INTRODUCING…GEEZA! HE’S OLD….AND COMPLETELY CLUELESS!

Hi there.

I’m Geeza, and I got some’n to say!

People are too sensitive today.

The Corona Virus, Presidents and Gay People gettin’ married.

Who cares about any of it?

Some of it ain’t even our business.

I remember, when bathrooms had more choices than just man and woman.

That was five years ago….in 1955!

What is this 2000s bullshit? I keep hearin’ about?

Computahs. pornography…..all The Devil’s toys!

Kids commit crimes on those damn things.

What ever happened to spay paintin’ a wall and then runnin’ from the cops?

Least ya got excercize.

Me, I been productive my whole life.

When I was 15, I scrounged up some money, and started a women’s shoes factory.

Thinking it would get me a girlfriend.

That Al Bundy, he ain’t got shit on me!

Ah, HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH!

I seen plenty of women come and go out of my bedroom.

…and I can safely say I never got kids!

I got to the love makin’ though.

But that is not today’s topic.

People bein’ sissies!

That is my subject.

Everyone on the tv is whinin’ about racism.

Well, let me tell you some’n!

Them damn Plutonians!

I say one insesitive thing on tv, …..and they shove a basketball up my kiester.

The Doctor called it an “ANAL PROBE.”

I call it assault.

I can”t sue ’em, cause they live in outer space!

Don’t come back…..damn space Aliens!

…..never park your ship on my roof again!

That’s where I keep my swimmin’ pool!

I bout that ten years ago…in 1950!

It still works!

…..and what is this damn on demand Shit?

In my day, you flicked through the channels with a dial!

If it wasn’t on, you couldn’t watch it!

People Today can go on that damn fangled internet and watch whatever whenever!

If you got that much time….you need another job!

One ain’t enough to keep ya busy!

….and the music today!

I can’t stand it!

Death Metal and Rap!

Garbage!

When I was a teenager!

It was Frank Sinatra, Nancy Sinatra and Thirty Three and Third!

Now that was somethin’ to do the mash potata to!

Nobody dances no more!

It’s all drugs, drugs, drugs! At the dance clubs!

Stay away from that shit!

So yesterday, I called the cable company to get my cable back.

I hear lippity, lippity lou!

Speak American Dammnit!

Bippity! Boppity Boo!

Get me an American….you damn space alien!

Stay off my roof….and my phone!

So I get some teenager from Ohio.

I say, is this gonna cost my extra. I live in Alabama?

She says no.

I say put my tv back on!

It comes on right again.

I nearly had a heart attack!

She said they did it wirelessly.

WHAT? I ask her.

She says computahs these days can do it without coming to your house.

Maybe computahs ain’t all that bad!

…and why are people offended by everythin’?

Everybody gets their feelins’ hurt!

In my day, when somebody called you a bum, ya kicked him in the grundys!

People today cry on Oprahs couch.

Grow a pair ya sissies!

….and now! My Sponsor…..my shoe factory!

Lucky Louciel’s shoes!

If you buy these shoes….you gonna get lucky!

EEEE! HEEE! HEE! HEE! HEEE! HEEE!

Merry Christmas ya rat ( BLEEPS! )

Written By: Ryan Hart Soliwoda

Completed On: December 26th, 2021

This is Copyright: Ryan Hart Soliwoda 2021

Merry Christmas To All!!!!

My life has progressed a lot in the 25 years since middle school.

Where I met my Buddies Mike Campos and Ese Odudu.

We became good buddies and still are to this day.

We grew up and worked and some of us even went to college.

Ese moved away to become an executive.

Mike and I still hang out.

We have been to movies,

baseball games, and Hershey Park among other things.

We gotta go back there!

I have two beautiful sisters named Rochelle and Stephanie.

Both have children.

Stephanie is Mom to My Niece Rae Lynn and Nephew Ryan John!

Rochelle is Mom to Kendra Rush!

The kiddos love their Uncle and I love them and their Moms!

Jason Married Rochelle and I was at their wedding.

Stephanie Married Howard and I was there too!

I had a martini!

I only drink on special occasions!

I met lots of cool people online too!

My Buddy, and Rock Star, Marq Jarmazek!

Who introduced me to his Boys Jeremy Eunson and their pal Georgio!

Members of the Nu Metal band WITHIN THE WEAK!

I have a great Mom who is still alive.

Thank God!

Losing my Dad was the worst thing I had to do was bury him.

Which I did…I was a Paul Bearer at his Funeral.

I granted his wish, I finished creative arts school!

,,,,and didn’t accept any of my many offers to go to

wrestling school by talent scouts at the gym.

I still workout to this day too!

I am strong!

I have a lot to be thankful for this year!

I love you all and Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukah!

Sincerely,

Ryan Hart Soliwoda

Written By: Ryan Hart Soliwoda

Completed On: December 24th, 2021

This is Copyright: Ryan Hart Soliwoda 2021

A Word To Corporate America!

You people treat your employees terribly.

From the time they show up for work, your managers and supervisors yell at the employees and scream at them till they punch out and get crap for leaving after they punch out.

What? You expect them to work for free?!

Now, you complain that you have to pay your employees more but you cut their hours in half.

So their paychecks get no bigger…..but the taxes that come out of them do!

Then, you go on “UNDERCOVER BOSS” on NBC, they give ten

bucks to an employee who is homeless and then declare themselves a hero.

The next day, the same asshole cuts their employees’ hours even more!

So their little tv appearance was to get themselves off the hook to Americans.

Really NBC?

Are your only viewers rich yupees who mock the working man?

Also, companies are whining that people quit their jobs too much.

For unemployment.

You CANNOT get un employment if you quit!

You have to be fired or laid off!!!

You treat your people horribly and have the balls to complain that they won’t stay.

They are quitting because they can’t take your abuse!

Those employees prefer starving over death of a ruptures stomach ulcer.

President Biden, I have a solution!

You said you prefer to restore the power of the labor beaureau instead of raising minimum wage.

This is a good idea because if the labor beaureau required the employers pay a real salary….minimum wage becomes irrelevant because the employees already would make more than that anyways!

When you raise Minimum wage…..companies charge more for their products or services!

If they make waaaay more than minimum wage….they don’t need it raised do they?

How do we do this?

In the 1990s, office work existed in this country.

America was richer than it has ever been before!

If you worked 40 hours a week or more, you were entitled to health benefits.

Your employer abused you?

You called the labor beaureau and reported them and you were even given a new job through the employment agency instead of web sites that give you nothing but an e-mail in some human resources kid who deleted it anyway.

So, President Biden, pick up that pen and sign the papers and get that congress vote to restore the power of the labor bearau.

We will probably never see office work again in America.

It went overseas and isn’t coming back.

Enough bringing it back crap.

Lets create NEW JOBS even better than the last ones!

Common Mr. President….do what you said you would!

Lets make America Rich like we were 30 years ago!

No more employer abuse!

Lets value the people who make corporate America the money in the first place……….the workers!

That is all!…..Carry On.

Written By: Ryan Hart Soliwoda

Completed On: December 11th, 2021

This is Copyright: Ryan Hart Soliwoda 2021

Social Networking and the internet need to get their mind out of the gutter already!!!!

WHY IS EVERYTHING PORNO IN DISGUISE?!

You type a website address wrong….PORN!

You see some girl on Facebook claiming to be a singer and

you click on her to hear her new album…..

She doesn’t sing….she makes PORNO!!!!

I was in computer engineering school briefly after high school.

I was told this following story.

“A middle school class went on the internet to see a tour of

the whitehouse where the President lives.

Little Johnny typed in whitehouse.com instead of whitehouse.net…..it was porno!

Needless to say little Johnny was surprised.”

Now, this is generic scenario used to teach computer engineers how to be

introduced in working with cyber security engineers.

We were trained as the IT GUYS.

So, apparently, some of these IT GUYS work so much, they cannot have a social life!

So they are single.

So I post an animation I did on my computer.

Some cyber security guys loved it!

They followed me and complimented me and so I followed them back!

Then un – followed them cause their whole account they have is porno cartoons!!!!

Porno is a 100 Billion Dollar a year business!

It was on the news nearly 10 years ago!!!

100 Billion Dollars a year!!!

So why the fuck does Porn have to stalk me online?

Don’t you people make enough money?

OUY!

LOL!

Written By: Ryan Hart Soliwoda

Completed On: 11 / 24 / 2021

This is copyright: Ryan Hart Soliwoda 2021

So everyone on the news seems to be paranoid

with the 2024 election.

The news comes on in commercial

form….online commercial form…..it’s

everywhere nowadays.

This has made 50% of the world’s population

a conspiracy theorist.

Everyone thinks the election of 2024 is so important!

I got news for those people.

It is 2021!!!!!

The election is more than three years away!!!!

Are you looking forward to the constant

e – mails and text messages and commercials from Hell?

If you honestly think we should worry about

all that bullshit now…..then I must be

a trillionaire with a 20 mile home and a

rocketship piloted by a monkey from Tasmania!

Cross the damn bridge when it comes!

Live life of not being hassled to vote for this lady or that guy!

We just voted for the mayor and everyone else 48 hours ago!

Fuck the news media!

…and as always….ROCK ON!!!!!

This was written by: Ryan Hart Soliwoda

Completed On: November 4th, 2021

This is Copyright: Ryan Hart Soliwoda 2021

VOTE FOR ME!!!!!!!

MY PLEDGE TO YOU AS PRESIDENT!

WRITTEN BY:

RYAN HART SOLIWODA

I wanna be your President!

First off.

People are quitting their jobs because

of the abuse from employers is unspeakable.

People are getting stomach ulcers, beaten

shot…all for $7.50 an hour!

How do we stop it?

I will re-instate the labor unions!

Full power to the labor bureau!

Nobody picks on our workers!

Furthermore….

Co Pay for seniors and disabled Americans

on Medicare is a disgrace!

The whole point of being retired is

so you don’t have to have co pay!

On another note,

Too many criminals in prisons.

What do we do!

Put them to work!

The Army Core of Engineers have invented

a time machine!

The prisoners will be forced to build it and we can

use it to bring back the Dinosaurs.

The Dinos can fight in wars wearing bulletproof armor.

Who needs nukes with Brontosauruses and Raptors?

Fred Flintstone did alright!

Also,

TV shows bullying millenials!

California needs to learn that the rest of

the young world works for a living!

Los Angels is less than one percent

of young America!

I will fine advertisers and TV station half

a million dollars every time a commercial

or TV show says all young people are lazy!

Cause it ain’t true!

The Dinosaurs can rampage through Los Angeles!

That will teach those corporate bastards

for abusing our children and seniors!

Full rights to the workers!

Bring back worker’s benefits!

….or I’ll send a brontosaurs heard after

you corporate fat cats!

Lets make college degrees valuable again!

Lower the cost of student loans!

If you get a college education, you should get

a fair shot at a good job.

You should be hired based on your education

and experience and a good, positive can do attitude!

Not who the owner’s son is!

…and damnit….end degree inflation!

Not every job needs a degree!

Who needs a degree to run McDonalds?!

In the 80s, if you went on the apprenticeship

program…..you ended up owning your

own McDonalds and became an executive

for the corporate branch…..with a high school degree!

So, vote for Ryan Cinch as your next

write in vote President!

Let The United States Be Reborn!

Lets Make America Rich Again!

Note: The Author of this article has not

registered to run for President.

Write In Votes are a must!

The following, while some of it based

on facts….is a work a of humor!

However, if you want to vote for the author

for President…he is game!!!

Written By: Ryan Hart Soliwoda

Completed On: 10 / 13 / 2021

This Is Copyright: Ryan Hart Soliwoda 2021

Why people are embarassed to buy one thing….then proud of something more embarassing!

It is like when people go to buy condoms men act like they are smuggling The Constitution into Cuba.

When really, you should be like ” ( Holds up trojan box! ) Uh, Huh! Huh! Huh! Huh! Huh! Check it out mr cashier…..I’m gonna score!”

But then, men go to buy viagra and not one person is afraid a Female cashier will say “What’s the matter, you fallen and can’t get it up?”

Then, on a couple’s wedding anniversary, they go into Victoria’s Secret and buy their wife a corset and not one guy is afraid of the woman kicking him in the nuts for it!

Why would you buy your wife underwear for your anniversary?

Are you looking to get divorced?

Then, five male dumbasses

walk into victoria’s secret so one guy can show his buddies

he is dating a cashier from the franchise of women’s underwear!

Just because she sells underwear does not make her a porn star you dorks!

I remember I was Philly Mills Mall and five idiots did this.

They came out and two girls went…”What’s a matter fellas? You need push up bras? Maybe a G String?

They walked away laughing.

So how the fuck is buying condomns more embarassing than this other bullshit?

America, I don’t get it?!

LMFAO!!!

Written By: Ryan Hart Soliwoda

Completed On: 10 / 08 / 2021

Copyright: Ran Hart Soliwoda 2021

Does you boss seem like an idiot? Well, they are! Here is why!…..

Never assume that a company is doing things for the good of anyone.

So when employees say, ” Yeah, that makes sense….NOT! “

What you don’t understand is that the executives are too

busy stealing money from the company to

care about what is good for anyone.

They hire incompetent boobs who cannot handle pressure to

be your manager or supervisor because they are not a threat to the

nitwit executives above them.

This is why your boss is hiding in their office when a customer or client is upset!

Then yelling at you for doing their job for them!

An idiot will never get promoted to CEO!

That is why they are chosen as low level bosses.

That is all.

Carry On!

Written By: Ryan Hart Soliwoda

Completed On: 09 / 24 / 2021

This is Copyright: Ryan Hart Soliwoda 2021

A New Reason Why Paying Bills Sucks!

This ever happen to you?

Caller: ( CALLS COMPANY )

Yes, I would like to pay my bill.

Company: We can’t, our computers are down.

Try Tomorrow.

( The Next Day. )

Caller: Yes, I would like to pay my electricity bill please.

Company: Sorry, we have no data in

our computer, call in an hour after Tech Support Leaves.

( Man’s Power Goes out an hour later.. )

Caller: You turned off my power! Thank

God My Cell Phone Battery Has Juice.

Company: You did not pay the bill!

Caller: You wouldn’t let me!

Company: We can do this now. We need full

verification from you bank!

Caller: Do you want the money or not?!

Company: Please state your credit card information.

( 20 Minutes Later! )

Company: We have processed your payment,

your electricity will be back on within the hour.

Thank you for staying a customer of….

Caller: FUCK YOU!!!!!

45 minutes later, The

light comes off….after being on for one minute!

Man phones company.

Caller: Do I have to call my fucking lawyer?!

Power if back on like normal.

Caller: That is what I thought!

Caller: ( Calls Police Station. )

Yes, I would like to report a crime.

Police: About?

Caller: FRAUD TOWARD A CUSTOMER!

Police: Call the Better Business Beaurau.

Caller: ( Calls BBB! )

Caller: Yes, I would like to report a crime.

BBB: About?

Caller: The damn electricity company turned off

my power before I paid them and an hour

after I did and I paid two days early.

BBB: We will investigate.

Thank you for the tip!

CALLER: Ah, Sweet Revenge!

So folks, this is proof that spending

money is NOT the ONLY thing that

sucks about paying bills!

It’s getting the imbeciles to accept your bill payment.

LMFAO!!!!

Written By: Ryan Hart Soliwoda

Completed On: August 1st, 2021

This is Copyright: Ryan Hart Soliwoda 2021